


Ancient Ecstacy

by ironspydr, UnfortunatelySux



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fuck Mountain Dew universe, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Siblings, So here they are!, You guys asked for more of the twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironspydr/pseuds/ironspydr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelySux/pseuds/UnfortunatelySux
Summary: Tala and Benjie Mell-Heere were high schoolers now. That meant lots of pranks and fun times all around. At least, it did. Until one day a prank leads to the twins finding some old pills hidden away in the school ceiling.





	1. Chapter 1

Benjie scoffed, taking the ceiling tile down. “Don’t worry, it’ll work.” He was stood on the teacher’s desk. “Look. Raise her chair up and tie the rope around the back. When she lowers it, it’ll pull the bucket down with it.” He pointed to the pail of red colored water that had a rope tied to its handle. “I’m putting it up in the ceiling, see? Does it make sense now?”

Tala eyed him. “What if the bucket hits her? We’re not trying to get a lawsuit here, Ben.” She blinked. “Would the bucket be able to hit her? I’m still not sure what the fuck you mean.”

“Look,” Benjie repeated. “Mrs. Young always goes through the same routine. The floor has marks where were desk always is. If I get the bucket up there perfectly, it won’t hit her. We’ll know where she’ll be.”

Tala hummed. “Nice job making the water red, by the way. Very ‘Carrie’ of you.”

Benjie smiled. “Thanks. Carrie’s an inspiration.”

Tala rolled her eyes, punching Benjie’s calf. “Hurry up. We have other shit to do.”

“Geez, calm yourself. There’s something in the way.” Benjie reached up and felt around in the ceiling, eventually pulling a box down. “What the hell?”

“Are those ladies running shoes?” Tala squinted at the box. “Really _old_ ladies running shoes?”

Benjie blew some dust off the box. “Looks like it. Why are ladies running shoes up in the ceiling of our history class?”

“They’re obviously from history, dumbass.”

“Fuck off,” Benjie mumbled. He handed the box down. “Open it.”

Tala grabbed it, scrunching up her nose. “If you’re wanting me to put one on you to see if it fits like some Cinderella shit, you’re gonna have to call your boy toy because I’m not down for that.” 

“He’s not my boy toy,” Benjie snapped. “And no, just see if it’s actually shoes. Maybe it’s ancient weapons from schools past.”

Tala snorted, flipping open the lid. “Oh shit.”

“Huh? What is it?” Benjie was busy placing the bucket. 

Tale pulled out a tiny ziploc bag with some pills in it. “Ancient ecstacy!”

Benjie looked down. “What? Drugs?”

“Yeah!” 

Benjie jumped off the desk. “We gotta take these!”

Tale held the bag out of his reach. “This is why you’re gonna die young.”

Benjie rolled his eyes. “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”

“These could be roofies for all we know!”

“Then we take them later!”

Tala shot him a look.

“What?”

“We are not taking roofies at lunch.”

“They might not be roofies!”

Tala groaned, cramming the bag in her pocket. “You’re such a stupid ass.”

Benjie frowned. “Hello? This whole genius prank was all me!” He gestured toward their precarious contraption. 

Tala punched his shoulder. “We don’t have time to discuss aged unknown drugs right now.”

“Fine. Take me to your ‘other shit’.”

Tala hummed. “Did you finish setting up the prank shit?”

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” Benjie snapped. 

She gave him a thumbs up, passing him the empty box. “Then I guess we’re done, unless you want to chill with Trav. I have to make sure he finishes his homework.”

“You know you’re his girlfriend, right? Not his babysitter.” Benjie tossed the box in the trash. 

Tala scoffed. “Shut up, at least I don’t leech off of my boyfriend’s homework every morning.”

“Hey! Only chemistry! We trade! I give him trig!”

Tala huffed. “Speaking of, don’t you have a tongue to be sticking down someone’s throat right about now?”

“How rude!” Benjie pushed her lightly. “I don’t have to be doing that for another five minutes,” he joked. 

Tala laughed. “Great. Well, I’ve gotta go. See you in class, bitch.” She turned to head towards the door.

“Whatever, jackass.” Benjie rolled his eyes. 

Tala waved as she rounded the corner. “Love you, bro, have a good day!”

“You too, idiot!” Benjie called back, exiting as well, but taking the other direction. 

\------

Tala yawned, throwing her legs over Benjie’s lap. “Why are we watching Homeward Bound?”

Benjie shrugged. “Getting tired?”

“I’m always tired.” She sighed. “How late do you think dad and papa are gonna be out, anyway?”

“Probably a few more hours,” Benjie groaned. “They take date night to the next level.”

Tala scoffed. “You can just say they’re having sex. We all know.”

“Peaches doesn’t! We have to protect her!”

Tala glanced over to where Peaches was sleeping happily in the recliner. “She’s pristine.”

“She is.” Benjie sighed. “God, this is boring.”

Tala groaned. “I know!”

“Hey, let’s play the Empty Your Pockets game.”

“Or we could play punchies.” Tala punched his side. 

Benjie scooted away. “No, I like my idea better.”

She rolled her eyes. “You want the pills.”

“Yeah, I really do.”

“You're a dumbass.”

“I know!”

She punched him again.

“Stop that!” 

“Stop trying to take unknown pills!”

“No! I want to! Just one?” Benjie gave her pouty eyes. 

“Are you ever gonna stop taking random pills?”

“Probably not.”

She groaned. “Fine! But if you’re gonna roofie yourself I guess I’ll take one too.”

Benjie perked up. “Really?!”

“I guess,” she sighed. “I mean, if it does get you high I don’t wanna miss out.”

“I knew you’d come around! Gimme one!” Benjie held his hand out in front of her face. 

Tala smacked his hand away. “Go get a drink, dumbass.”

“Yes! Special occasion!” Benjie stood up and sprinted down the hall to his bedroom. 

She huffed, sitting up and pulling the bag from her pocket.

Benjie soon returned, out of breath, his stash of Mountain Dew in his hands. “Perfect!”

Tala hummed, pulling two of the pills out. “I guess.”

Benjie cracked a can open. “What do you think dad and papa would be more mad about? The drugs or the Dew?”

“I mean absolutely the drugs, but if you ever call it ‘The Dew’ again I’ll punch you.” She passed him one of the pills.

“You’ll punch me anyway.” Benjie took it in hand and gave her the can, cracking another one open. 

Tala sighed. “Well, here goes nothin’, I guess.”

Benjie had already taken his. 

“You’re an idiot.” She took hers. “I’m an idiot.”

“We’re idiots!” Benjie laughed. “Now we wait?”

“I guess.”

Benjie coughed. “What if we just swallowed those capsules with the dinosaurs in them?”

“Dinovore.”

“Never speak to me again.”

Tala punched him.

Benjie flinched. “ _Ow!_ ”

She yawned. 

“Don’t go to sleep, we gotta wait for this to work!” Benjie argued. 

She groaned. “Why didn’t we wait until after I took a nap?”

“Because you’ll sleep for hours!”

“I’m tired.”

“Just wait!”

“My head hurts,” she complained.

“So does mine, but you can’t just– Ow, geez.” Benjie frowned. 

“Is it roofies?”

“I don't know what a roofie feels like!”

“This, maybe?”

“Maybe!”

Tala winced, bringing a hand up to her temple. “Shit.”

Benjie’s position was similar. “W-Works kinda fast, huh?”

Tala grimaced. “If we die, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“I’ll let you,” Benjie replied, pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Fuck, Ben, I think we might be allergic to old roofies.” She squeezed her eyes closed.

“I-Is that possible?” Benjie strained to speak, the pain in his head really getting to him. 

“Dunno,” Tala muttered. “Ben? I think I’m about to pass out.” Her voice was weak.

Benjie was on his side. “Y-Yeah, me too.”

The last thing Tala managed to get out was a soft, “Fuck you, idiot,” and then she was out.

Benjie was out too, but only after rolling his eyes. 

————

Michael smiled as Jeremy clambered into the car. “Hey. How was work?”

Jeremy grinned. “Great, like always,” he said, throwing his bag back into the seat behind them. “Dance battles are hard though.”

Michael leaned over to kiss him quickly in greeting. “Did you lose again?”

Jeremy pouted. “I wasn’t hired for my dance abilities.”

“Aw,” Michael cooed. “That’s alright. I still love you.”

“Thanks, Mikey. I love you too.” Jeremy smiled at him again. 

Michael stole another kiss before starting up the car. “Date night!”

“Date night!” Jeremy laughed. “Finally! It’s been a long week.”

Michael nodded. “God, it really has.”

“Where are we going?” Jeremy asked. 

“It’s a surprise.”

“Ooh.”

“Buckle up, dummy.”

“Oh!” Jeremy buckled his seatbelt. “Sorry, got excited.”

“You’re always excited.” Michael teased. “I got a call from the school today.”

Jeremy’s smile faded. “What? What happened?”

Michael snorted. “Apparently someone rigged the teacher's chair so that when she moved it, red water got poured all over her.”

“Like Carrie?”

“Yep.”

“Haha, nice.” Jeremy paused. “It was our kids, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Dammit. How much detention this time?”

“Dunno. Like, a ton. Should we ground them?”

Jeremy sighed. “Did their teacher get hurt?”

“Nah.”

“Eh, don’t ground them. But give them a lecture or something.”

Michael hummed, reaching over to take Jeremy’s hand. “Fun.”

Jeremy squeezed Michael’s hand. “They gotta know we’re mad.”

“I’m not that mad, they’re just dumb kids.” Michael shrugged. “Carrieing their teachers isn't great, though.”

“They’re 16, they should know that’s wrong.”

Michael nodded. “We’re almost to the place. Sorry to change the subject, but i have to make it known that we are not exiting that building with anything other than ourselves, okay?”

Jeremy quirked an eyebrow. “That sounds kinda ominous.”

“You won’t change my mind. We’re only here to play.” Michael pulled into a parking space. 

“P-Play? What is this, some kind of sex thing?”

Michael laughed. “We’re at an animal shelter, Jerm.”

Jeremy inhaled dramatically. “ _Puppies?!_ ”

“We are not taking any home!” Michael reaffirmed. “But, puppies. Kiss me then we can go play.”

Jeremy instantly kissed his husband. 

Michael smiled against his lips, pulling away to kiss his nose. “Okay. Go.”

Jeremy was out of the car in a heartbeat. 

Michael followed close behind.

Jeremy ran to the door, struggling to open it. 

Michael gently moved Jeremy’s hands, pulling the door open.

Jeremy placed a grateful yet quick kiss to Michael’s cheek before running inside. 

Michael smiled, following once again. “Play area is to the right, Jerm.”

Jeremy skidded on his heels as he forced himself to turn right, hopping over the little barrier that made up the play area. He sunk to his knees and lay down, snow angel style. 

Michael moved to stand other him. “What are you doing?”

Jeremy just slapped the floor. “Release them!”

“Oh my god,” Michael snorted. “All of them?”

“Yes!”

Michael turned to look at a worker, who held up seven fingers. He turned back to Jeremy. “Limit is seven at once.”

“Give me the smallest seven babies.”

Michael hummed. “Alright, alright.” he wandered off. 

Jeremy waited on the floor, almost patiently. 

A couple minutes later, he was being attacked by seven small yipping puppies.

Jeremy was instantly laughing, his arms coming up to grab playfully at them. He let them crawl all over him. “Mikey!” he laughed. “Join us!”

Michael giggled, moving to sit with them.

A couple puppies licked Jeremy’s face, and he laughed. “I love them!” He grabbed one and put it in Michael’s lap. “Baby!”

Michael laughed, petting the enthusiastic pup. “Sweet child.”

Jeremy sat up and kissed the puppies on their heads. “I’m gonna cry.”

“Jeremy, don’t cry.”

“Too late.”

Michael jolted. “Jere!”

Jeremy wiped a tear away. “It’s just so wonderful!”

Michael laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you more, but these puppies are really eating up my love right now, sorry!”

Michael rolled his eyes, grinning stupidly as he watched Jeremy. 

———

Soon, the puppies were moving lazily and lethargic. A handler told Jeremy that they needed their naps. Jeremy, of course, pouted.

Michael chuckled, wrapping an arm around Jeremy’s waist. “C’mon, babe, it’s alright. Date night isn’t over yet. I got us a room.”

“A puppy room?!”

“No, Jerm.” Michael leaned close so only Jeremy could hear him. “Hotel room. For sex.”

“Oh. Oh! Let’s go!”

Michael giggled. “Oh? Excited, suddenly?”

“I’ve been excited the whole time!”

Michael kissed him sweetly. “Let’s go so I can fuck you.”

Jeremy was pulling him out the door. “It’s your turn this week, huh?”

“Mhm,” Michael hummed. “So I hope you’re ready, because I’m not going easy.”

Jeremy shuddered. “Thank god. You went too easy last time.”

Michael scoffed. “We’ll see.” 

“Any ideas? You seem like you have a plan.” Jeremy pushed him toward the car. 

“Oh, absolutely. But I’m not telling you. You’ll just have to wait.”

Jeremy pouted. “Fine. I can wait.”

Michael chuckled. “I can tell. Especially since you already have a boner.”

“Jeez! Eyes are up here, Mell!”

“That’s Mell- _Heere_ to you, stud.”

Jeremy huffed. “I’m no stud.”

Michael shrugged. “Well, whatever you are, I’m going to suck your soul out of your dick.”

“You’re what?!”

Michael just smirked, sliding into the driver's seat of the car.

Jeremy gulped, doing the same on the other side. 

Michael stole a kiss before starting up the car. “Hey, Jere?”

“Hm?” Jeremy hummed. 

“I love you tons.”

“Tons?” Jeremy echoed, smiling shyly. 

“Tons!”

“That’s crazy! I love you more than that!”

“Impossible!”

“Probable!”

Michael beamed at him. 

“Are you gonna fuck me in a hotel room or not?” Jeremy teased. 

“God, yes.” Michael pulled out of the parking lot.

————


	2. Chapter 2

Benjie’s eyes cracked open, his headache nowhere near gone. He sat up, groaning. On the couch, he saw Tala still passed out, but in front of him was another figure. 

“Papa?” Benjie croaked. Something was off about his father, though he couldn’t place it. 

“ **Benjie Mell-Heere?** ”

Benjie blinked, glancing at Tala, who was still out. “Uh, what?”

“ **Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP.** ”

“Am I...tripping?”

“ **Most certainly not. Those pills that you and your sister ingested were not drugs. They contained nanocomputers which traversed your bloodstream and implanted into your brain. Thus, my presence. I am here to help, Benjie. All you have to do is provide a goal, and I will assist you in achieving it.** ”

Benjie laughed awkwardly. “I’m tripping.” He lay back down on the couch. “I don’t even know half those words, old man, go make me a grilled cheese.”

He remained in place. “ **I assure you, you are fully coherent right now. Please provide an objective.** ”

Benjie groaned. “Objective: make me a grilled freaking cheese, papa, please.”

“ **Invalid objective. I am not your father, Benjie. I have merely taken his form as he is who you are most likely to listen to. I can also take to forms of-** ” the SQUIP’s form flickered. “ **Your dog Peaches, Andrew Rannells, or Benjamin Schiff Platt.** ”

Benjie snorted. “Heh. Schiff.” He sighed. “My head hurts. You gonna make me a grilled cheese or what?”

“ **I am a computer inside your brain. I do not have physical hands. Also, please refrain from speaking to me out loud. The only one who I am visible to is you. You simply have to think to me and I shall respond.** ”

“Pop, you ain’t makin’ sense. This is the weirdest acid trip I’ve ever heard of.” Benjie leaned over to shake Tala, trying to wake her up. “Hey, Papa’s home.” She didn’t move. “Hm.”

“ **She will not wake up for 10 minutes and 46 seconds. Again, I am not your father. Perhaps this form would be more effective in convincing you.** ” The SQUIP flickered, and then standing before him was a shirtless Ben Platt.

Benjie was suddenly a lot more attentive. “Woah, what the fuck?” 

“ **Please set an objective.** ”

Benjie stared at it. “You’re hot.”

The SQUIP seemed to sigh. It quickly transformed back into Jeremy. 

“Ew, nevermind.”

“ **Please set an objective.** ”

Benjie blinked at it. “Dude, what’s that even mean? I just took some whack drugs, man.”

“ **As I said before.You are not ‘tripping’. I am merely a projection of the nanocomputers within your brain. I am here to help.** ”

Benjie tsked. “Look, I’m gonna listen to you, but only because you’re glowing. What the hell are talking about?”

“ **As I keep saying. I am here to help. Set an objective, and I shall help you achieve it.** ”

“Uh, I don’t know if we know each other well enough for that quite yet. You look like my dad, but you keep saying you’re not. You’re a computer, huh?” Benjie shrugged. “Gnarly. Where’d you come from?”

“ **The pill.** ”

“I’m not on plan B, thanks. Tala might be though. Hormones and shit.”

**”Not birth control. I am from the pill which you found in the shoebox.”**

“We swallowed computers?!”

“ **Yes. As I stated before.** ”

Benjie hummed. “So what do you do? What are you for? Why did someone hide you in the ceiling? And why do you look like my papa? I wasn’t really, uh, listening before.”

“ **I am designed to assist you in achieving an objective. What that objective shall be is up to you. This form is one which you are most likely to listen to.** ”

“So you’re a pill computer that helps people? That’s sweet. Can you see my thoughts then?”

“ **Yes. I can also hear your thoughts, so please refrain from speaking out loud to me. Judging from your current thought pattern of Shirtless Benjamin Platt as well as Justin Goranski and the correlation to your growing erection, I suggest making your objective being that of performing sexual intercorse for the first time.** ”

Benjie squeaked. “Shut up! That’s rude! You did that in the first place! Never say that again with my father’s voice!” He huffed. “I can get sex on my own, thank you very much. Justin and me haven’t been together that long. He’s shy.” He was still speaking aloud. 

The SQUIP nodded. “ **I am merely providing options.** ”

Benjie’s eyes glanced down toward Tala’s unconscious form. “There is one thing I’d like, I guess.”

The SQUIP’s eyes flashed. “ **Objective detected: Make a name for yourself. Is this correct?** ”

“Well, uh, yeah, actually. Can you help me be more than just Tala’s brother?”

“ **Objective set. It is in your best interest to leave this room before you sister wakes up in 1 minute and 24 seconds.** ”

Benjie blinked. “What? And go where?”

“ **I suggest your bedroom. You may also wish to take care of your erection there.** ”

“Uh, with you watching?” Benjie was red in the face, a grimace plastered on. 

“ **You have 56 seconds to exit the room.** ”

“Geez, fine!” Benjie grabbed his can of Mountain Dew and scurried to his bedroom, locking the door. 

\------

Tala groaned as she came to, sitting up slowly. “Fuck, Ben, what did you do to us?” 

“ **Your brother is not here** ,” a familiar voice said. It kept talking. “ **Tala Mell-Heere, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor—Your SQUIP**.”

Tala frowned, looking up at the figure standing before her. “Dad? Where’s papa?”

“ **No** ,” the SQUIP said. “ **I only look like your father. If you wish, I can also be set to other influential figures in your life, such as your brother Benjie, your other father, Jeremy, or Christine Canigula. Will one of those be more effective?** ”

Tala shook her head. “What? Effective in what?”

“ **I am here to assist you in completing an objective. I need to look like someone you would trust and obey. Is this form acceptable, or would you like to switch to one of the others?** ”

Tala eyed it. “Dad, this is a weird joke.”

“ **Again, I only look like Michael Mell-Heere. I am a supercomputer, not a human being.** ”

“A supercomputer? What the hell?”

“ **The pill you took with your brother. You swallowed a computer.** ”

“Felt like I swallowed a pill.”

“ **Yes, it is much the same.** ”

“Explain?”

“ **The computer is inside the pill. It is much like swallowing a capsule with beads or powder.** ”

Tala huffed. “I got that much. I mean how does swallowing a computer make me see my dad?”

“ **Ah. I am merely a projection inside your brain. Like a controlled hallucination, if you will. Except caused by a computer, not a brain injury.** ”

“That’s dumb.”

“ **I’ll try not to be offended,** ” the SQUIP said sarcastically. 

Tala groaned. “Why would I need a brain computer?”

“ **I see you did ingest me on accident. Though, it is strange you managed to take me with the one liquid that activates SQUIPs. The odds of that are very low. See, you tell me what you want. Some objective. Be popular, get famous, fake your death. I tell you how to get it. Do you have an objective?** ”

She hesitated. “Make me more approachable?”

“ **Objective confirmed. I look forward to working with you. Now, as I said, I am only in your head. You shouldn’t speak out loud to me. Think at me.** ”

Tala grimaced. ‘Like this?’

“ **Exactly.** ” The SQUIP gave her an almost proud smile. “ **We have work to do.** ”

Tala gulped. “Wait- Benjie?! Are you here?” 

Silence. The SQUIP stared at her. 

Tala frowned. ‘Does he have one too?’

The SQUIP nodded. “ **Yes, but your objectives do not overlap. You don’t need to worry about him, Tala.** ”

She started to stand up. ‘I should check on him.’

“ **No.** ” the SQUIP said, appearing in front of her. “ **He needs his time with his SQUIP alone.** ”

Tala jolted. ‘Jeez, fine. God, when are dad and papa getting home?’ By the end she was talking more to herself than the SQUIP.

“ **I estimate another hour and a half.** ”

She groaned. ‘Then I’m gonna go take a nap.’

The SQUIP nodded again. “ **We have a busy day tomorrow. You should get your sleep.** ”

‘Whatever.’ she shuffled to her room.

————

Benjie opened his eyes to the sunlight pouring into his room, his headache gone. He sat up, groaning. Looking around the room, he quirked an eyebrow. “Hey, glowy papa? You actually exist?”

The SQUIP appeared beside his bed. “ **Please refrain from speaking aloud.** ”

Benjie jolted. “Christ. What, you want me to be like, Stranger Things or something?”

“ **All you have to do is think at me, and I will hear it.** ”

Benjie rolled his eyes. ‘I can’t believe you’re real,’ he thought. 

“ **I am in fact real. I recommend getting ready for school.”**

Benjie grumbled. ‘At least school means Justin, right?’

“ **Correct.** ”

‘You’re not gonna try and set us up for sex, right?’ Benjie had to be sure. 

“ **Not unless it is necessary in reaching your objective. As of right now, it is not.** ”

‘Thank god. I’m not doing anything until he’s ready.’ Benjie stood up, popping his back. 

“ **You have 14 minutes to prepare. At least 6 are dedicated to your hair, generally. Is this necessary?** ”

“Bitch, my hair is my lifeline,” Benjie said aloud. 

“ **As you wish.** ”

‘I fuckin’ do.’ Benjie stretched once more and exited his room. 

\-----

Tala grunted when her alarm sounded, smacking her phone in an attempt to hit snooze. 

She missed the button, but the alarm went off anyway. Her SQUIP appeared in the corner of the room. “ **Rise and shine, Tala,** ” it said. 

Tala groaned. “Five more minutes.”

“ **You need to get up now. Your brother has already beaten you to the bathroom.** ”

Tala hummed, eyes still closed. “Fine, then I’ll jus’ sleep till he’s out.”

“ **No, we need to work on your morning routine.** ”

“Why?!”

“ **Think at me, remember? And this is part of our objective. It requires actually brushing your hair.** ”

She whined. ‘My hair is fine!’

“ **You need to do as I instruct.** ”

She huffed, rolling out of her bed and onto the floor. She laid there for a while. She fell asleep.

A static shock erupted from her spine. 

She gasped, bolting upright. “Ow! what the fuck!” 

“ **Wake up.** ”

“Jesus christ!” Tala jolted again when one of her father’s voices rang out from down the hall.

“Tala? Are you okay?” It was Michael. 

“ **Of course you are,** ” the SQUIP said. 

“Oh, y-yeah! Of course I am! Just stubbed my toe is all!” She bit her lip. 

His voice called back. “Be careful, Honey.”

“ **That was close. You can not tell your fathers about me, Tala. Your objective would fail.** ”

‘What?’ She snapped back to look at the figure by the bed. ‘Why?’

“ **Obviously, they wouldn’t be very happy that you took illegal drugs you found while planting a prank on a teacher, would they? You getting grounded puts a major hinder on our objective.Oh, by the way, I’m illegal.** ”

“What?!”

“ **I won’t tell anyone.** ”

Tala groaned, falling back onto the ground. ‘What have we gotten ourselves into?’

The SQUIP answered. “ **A better life.** ” It seemed to chuckle. 

‘Whatever you say,’ she sighed internally, but finally got to her feet to get ready.

\-------

Michael hummed as he shuffled around the kitchen, stealing a kiss from Jeremy every time he passed him. “Was date night good yesterday?”

Jeremy hummed a single note, contrary to Michael’s harmonious melody. “Mhm, you know it was.” He winked for good measure. 

Michael chuckled, passing Jeremy his pancakes. “Just making sure.”

Jeremy poured himself a generous amount of syrup. “I’ll be feeling date night for a while.”

“Hey, that’s what you wanted, babe.”

“I’m not complaining!”

Michael hummed. “The kids went to bed super early yesterday, huh?”

“Compared to usual, yeah. S’weird.”

“Maybe they knew they’re in trouble.”

Jeremy shrugged. “They should always assume we know what they did.”

“We always know.”

“We always do!”

Michael laughed, passing Jeremy a cup of orange juice. “God, I’m so glad I’ve put so much meat on your bones in this marriage,” he noted. “You used to look like a stiff breeze could knock you over. Now it's more like two stiff breezes.”

“I gained a whole 20 pounds in 20 years. That’s impressive!”

“Hell yeah.”

Jeremy grinned. “Your mothers would be proud.”

“They are! They mention it every time we visit!” 

“I know! It makes me happy! I love them!”

“Me too! You know who else I love?”

“Aw, your husband?”

“My husband! And kids!”

“Aw! Even better!”

Michael kissed him sweetly.

Jeremy laughed. “Where are the kids anyway?”

“Dunno.” Michael straightened up. “Ben! Tali! Breakfast!”

Benjie emerged from the hallway, but didn’t say anything. 

Michael quirked an eyebrow. “Hey, bud.”

“ **Act normal. It is imperative they do not know that anything is different. Do not tell them about us.** ”

‘M’kay,’ Benjie thought, sitting at his place at the table. “Hey. Anything special today?”

Jeremy hummed. “Not that I know of.”

Michael passed him a plate of pancakes. “Where’s Tali?” 

“ **The bathroom. Getting ready.** ”

“Bathroom,” Benjie said, taking the syrup from Jeremy. 

Michael hummed. “Got a call from the school yesterday.”

“O-Oh, did you?”

“Mhmm, something involving a bucket of red water?”

“Oh yeah?”

Michael shot Jeremy an ‘are you gonna say anything?’ look.

Jeremy frowned, but did as his husband wanted. “You watch too much Carrie.”

“First of all, that makes it sound like a TV show.”

Michael sighed. “Benjie, you two can’t do things like that. You know that.”

“I know,” Benjie mumbled.

Jeremy tsked. “Then why do you keep doing it?” 

Benjie wasn’t sure how to answer that. ‘Are you gonna help?’ he pleaded. 

“ **Tell him it’s peer pressure.** ”

Benjie would have commended the SQUIP for such a good excuse if it wasn’t its job. “Peer pressure?” he offered weakly. 

Michael softened a bit. “Benj, you don’t need to worry about what others think of you. Do what makes you happy.”

Benjie didn’t make eye contact. “S-Sorry.”

Michael shook his head, pulling him into a quick hug and kissing his forehead. “No more pranks, okay?”

Benjie gave him sincere, innocent eyes. “Okay, dad.”

“Jeremy, can you go see what’s taking Tala so long? She’s not gonna have time to eat if she doesn’t hurry.”

Jeremy pretended to pout, putting his syrup soaked pancake down. “Okay,” he mumbled jokingly, standing up and wandering into the hallway. 

\--

Tala stared at herself in the mirror.

Her SQUIP hummed. “ **Brush your hair. Then find some makeup. Not much. Maybe some blush. Make it natural.** ”

She frowned slightly, but did as instructed. ‘Makeup is hard. And it takes ages.’

“ **It is necessary, Tala. Your esteem for yourself is very low.** ”

‘Ugh.’ She found her old makeup. ‘I don’t know how to use it.’

“ **Would you like my assistance?** ”

‘Uh.. sure?’

The SQUIP held its hand out halfheartedly, and a milder shock than before passed down Tala’s spine. Using her hands, it picked up a makeup brush.

“Woah, shit,” she muttered, surprised.

The figure of her father smiled, moving with expert grace. In moments, Tala’s face was dusted with a natural look. “ **Voila.** ”

She stared at herself, surprised. ‘Woah.’ 

“ **Pretty,** ” the SQUIP said. 

“Pretty,” she repeated. 

“ **Your father is coming. Play it natural, like your face.** ”

Jeremy knocked on the door. “Tali, you okay?”

“I’m fine!” she called back quickly. “Almost ready. I’ll be out in a second, Papa.”

“Hurry up or you won’t have time to eat!” Jeremy warned, walking away. “Dad’s orders!”

Tala jolted. ‘Shit, I’m so hungry!’

“ **You’re ready. Go have breakfast.** ” The SQUIP’s image faded. 

Tala bounded out the door, heading for the kitchen. 

Jeremy was back at the table. “See, there she comes,” he said to Michael. 

Michael smiled. “Tali, pancakes,” he slid a plate towards her. 

She grinned, hurrying to take her seat.

Jeremy passed her the bottle of syrup once Benjie was finally done getting his perfect. 

Michael’s eyebrows furrowed a bit as she got near. “Tali, are you wearing makeup?”

Her SQUIP’s voice rang in her ears. “ **Yes, you’re just trying something new.** ”

“Yeah! I’m, uh, trying something new.” 

Michael frowned a bit. “Is it something you want to try for you or is it something you want to try because of other people?”

“ **Yourself, obviously.** ”

Tala laughed a bit. “Myself, Dad. It’s all good.” she shot him a reassuring smile. 

Michael hesitated, but nodded. “Alright, fine. You look amazing. Now eat up, it’s almost time for everyone to head out.”

Tala nodded, pouring syrup onto her stack of pancakes.

The SQUIP’s form appeared, in front of the real Michael. “ **You shouldn’t eat all of those. Leave a couple. We need to watch your figure.** ”

Tala paused. ‘For real?’

“ **You eat a lot of junk food. You need to be more conservative with your snacking and meals.** ”

She grimaced. ‘Fine. Whatever.’

The image faded away again. 

Tala picked at her food, eating half as much as she usually would. 

Jeremy nudged Michael with his elbow and jerked his head toward Tala’s plate.

Michael looked up, once again frowning. “Tala, are you feeling okay?”

The SQUIP made a sighing sound. “ **Yes, you’re nervous about a test.** ”

“Just a bit nervous. I have a test today.” 

Michael hummed. “You sure you feel okay?”

Tala nodded. “I’m fine, Dad. Hey, I heard Benjie was trying to figure out what to do for his and Justin’s two month anniversary!”

Benjie’s eyes shot up. “Hey! That’s not your business!”

“Oh come on! I’m sure dad and papa can help!”

“They’re embarrassing!”

Michael scoffed. “Rude.”

Jeremy shrugged. “He’s got a point.”

Michael pouted. “Well yeah, but that’s our job!”

Jeremy just kissed his cheek. 

Benjie rolled his eyes. “Anyway…”

Michael grinned. “What are your plans?”

“I don’t have any plans, okay? He’s hard to please!”

Tala snorted.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Benjie snapped. “At least I don’t have to play babysitter to my boyfriend.”

“Hey!”

“It’s kinda weird you have to make sure he does his homework!”

“At least I can actually talk to him!”

Jeremy coughed. “Okay, maybe stop?”

Michael nodded. “Both of you are awkward, stop arguing.”

Benjie huffed. “She started it.”

“Did not!”

“Stop now,” Jeremy warned. “We need to get going anyway.”

Tala pouted, but pushed away her half empty plate. 

Michael chuckled, getting up to kiss each child on the forehead. “Have a good day, kids.”

Benjie huffed, but Jeremy eagerly got in line for a kiss, grinning. 

Michael grinned back, kissing him sweetly. “Have a good day, love.”

Jeremy winked. “I will!” He quickly got in front of the twins. “Love you Michael!”

“Love you too, babe.”

Tala scrunched up her nose. “You guys are gross.” She didn’t mean it.

Jeremy laughed. “We know.” He pulled the kids through the door. 

\-----


	3. Chapter 3

“ **Do not enter the school building with Tala. Part ways before you are seen.** ”

Benjie nearly skipped a step. ‘What? But we always walk in together. She’ll get suspicious.’

“ **Tell her you’re meeting Justin.** ”

‘Oh. That works I guess.’ Benjie called ahead. “Hey, I’m gonna go meet Justin, okay?”

Tala blinked in surprise, but nodded. “Kissy face this early in the morning?”

Benjie narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, so don’t wait up.”

“Alright, whatever.” Tala shuffled off without him. 

“ **Go sign up for a club without her.** ”

‘What? I thought I was meeting Justin.’

“ **It was an excuse, Benjie.** ”

‘Can I still see Justin?’

“ **After.** ”

Benjie frowned. ‘Fine. What club?’

“ **The one that will provide the highest social standing.** ”

‘You know I don’t know the answer to that.’

“ **Any of them except the Anime Club.** ”

‘Hey! That phase is far behind me, thanks!’ Benjie retorted. 

“ **It is not.** ”

‘... _Look_.’

“ **We will not have time to visit Justin if you do not go now.** ”

‘Geez, fine!’ Benjie entered the building and took the first left. 

“ **Archery.** ”

Benjie stared at a room of students with bows. ‘Uh, maybe not, I’m not exactly an athlete?’

“ **Ask to join. Locate the coach.** ”

‘I just said I’m not an athletic person, did you hear me?’

“ **It is important to your objective that you join. Your athletic abilities are not relevant.** ”

Benjie sighed. They seemed relevant to him. Nonetheless, he found who had to be the coach, an older man. “Uh, hey, can I join this thing?”

The couch eyed him. “Can you use a bow?”

“Uh…” ‘Can I?’

“ **You can. Be confident.** ”

“Yeah, why else would I be here?”

The man gave a curt nod. “Let’s see, then. You can try out now. Grab a bow. You have five arrows to use.”

Benjie picked up a green bow. “Uh, target?”

The man pointed towards an unoccupied target. 

“ **I will ensure you do well.** ”

Benjie gulped and picked up an arrow. ‘You fuckin’ better. I don’t even know how to hold this thing.’

The SQUIP raised a hand, and Benjie’s arms seemed to move on their own. He shot the arrows quickly, all on them landing in the center of the target.

Benjie tried not to look so surprised. ‘Jesus Christ, what was that?!’

The coach seemed impressed. “Damn, that’s some good aim. What’s your name, son?”

“Uh–” Benjie coughed. “Benjie Mell-Heere?”

“Well then, Welcome aboard, Benjie.” He stuck his hand out to shake. “I’m Coach Brown. We have practice every tuesday and thursday.”

Benjie awkwardly took his hand. “That’s it..?”

“Did you want it to be harder?”

“Oh, no sir! Uh, thank you!”

He nodded. “You don’t have to stay for this practice, but be here bright and early next tuesday.”

“Oh! Okay! Thanks!” Benjie scurried out. ‘Woah. How did you do that?’

“ **It’s my job, Benjie.** ”

‘That’s so cool! You’re so cool!’

“ **I believe you wished to meet Justin before class? You have 32 minutes before your first class. Justin is in the library.** ”

‘Oh! You’re right! We should get on that!’ Benjie turned around and started toward the library. ‘I still don’t know what to do for our two monthiversary.’

“ **I need to assess him before I can provide accurate options.** ”

‘Uh, okay. He’s hot, so be prepared.’ Benjie had mostly gotten over saying such things to someone who looked like his father. He turned into the library. 

The SQUIP did not respond. “ **He’s by the fiction section.** ”

Benjie turned on his heels and went to the back corner. He could see Justin there. “Hey!” he whispered, walking up to him. 

Justin jolted, looking up with wide eyes. When he realised who it was his eyes lit up, cheeks instantly dusted red. “Ben,” He smiled. “What’re you doin’ here?”

Benjie grinned. “Just came to see you, J.”

“ **Assessing Justin Goranski. Please stand by.** ”

Justin grinned back, pulling out the empty seat next to him. “Sit?”

Benjie did, not bothering to say anything to the SQUIP just yet. “So...happy two months?”

Justin seemed to blush harder at that, his voice coming out louder than expected when he responded. “Happy two months!” He was shushed by the librarian, making him gulp and cower slightly. “Oops.”

Benjie put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “She shushes everyone. So, what a couple of months, huh?”

Justin nodded. “Very good! Very good couple of months.” His face burned. He sounded like an idiot.

Benjie smiled awkwardly. “I think it’s been, yeah. Um– You look really good today.”

“ **This is painful to watch.** ”

Justin grinned, pressing a kiss to Benjie’s cheek. “So do you!” He got shushed again, but brushed it off this time. “Um, I have a surprise for you. C-Can you come over tonight? My, um, dads aren’t gonna be home.”

Benjie ignored the SQUIP. “A surprise? You don’t have to do anything for me, J.”

Justin gulped. “It’s fine. It’s a, uh, mutually beneficial surprise.”

“Oh?” Benjie smiled wider. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Justin bumped his shoulder lightly. “You’re cute. Uh, all the time. Wanna study with me?”

“Course I do!” Benjie smiled briefly at his SQUIP’s image. 

The SQUIP simply nodded, fading away to let him do as he wished.

\----

Travis was waiting for Tala by the vending machines, drinking a Monster Energy. 

Tala smiled when she found him, greeting him with a hug. “Hey, Trav.”

Travis grinned at her. “Tali, just who I wanted to see! You look different.”

Tala blushed slightly. “Oh yeah, uh, I’m trying something different. Makeup. Do you like it?”

“I mean, yeah, you look great! But you always look great.”

“ **He has to say that. He’s your boyfriend.** ”

‘Do you have to be so harsh about it?’ Tala smiled at Travis. “Thanks.” 

The SQUIP shrugged behind Travis. 

The boy chuckled. “My pleasure. Any news?”

‘Can I tell him?’ “Uh, I dunno…”

“ **Absolutely not. Tell no one.** ”

Tala shrugged. “Not really. How about you? Anything interesting go down in the past day?”

Travis seemed to think for a very long time. “I got a new zit.” 

The SQUIP faded away, mumbling something about needing to scan Travis again. 

Tala laughed. “Where?”

Travis pointed to the space above his left eyebrow. “Hurts like hell.”

Tala scrunched her nose up. “I bet. Sucks to be you,” she teased, smiling. “Don’t worry though, you’re still super pretty.”

Travis laughed. “Thanks, Tali. I try my best. Oh! I just remembered! Rachel is failing geometry! Which means now I’m the smart one!” He winked. “I mean, how hard is it to point at stuff on a map?”

Tala giggled, wrapping an arm around Travis’s waist and tugging him away from the vending machines. “God, it’s a good thing you’re cute. Let’s go sit down somewhere.”

Travis grinned. “Wherever you choose, fair lady.”

Tala hummed. “The table by that gross alley where no one ever goes? We can talk and maybe make out.”

Travis gasped. “Can we do the making out part?!”

Tala laughed again, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “If you’ve finished your homework.”

Travis groaned. “Which homework?”

“All of it, dork! You know that!” she rolled her eyes. “C’mon. If we get it done before class we can make out.”

Travis pouted. “I’m fragile, I can’t do homework, just kiss me.”

The SQUIP appeared again, looking disturbed. “ **This is the boy you’re dating? He’s a brain cell away from cretin. Assuming he has a brain cell.** ”

‘Watch it. You can say whatever you want about me but shut your fucking mouth about him.’ Tala pulled him a bit closer. “I’ll give you one kiss for every question you answer.” 

Tala decided she didn’t like hearing those things from her Dad’s voice. Maybe she should change it to someone else. What were her options again?

Travis grinned. “I can work with that,” he said, pulling out his one ratted notebook. 

Tala’s SQUIP spoke over Travis anyway. “ **You can set me for Christine Canigula, Benjie Mell-Heere, or Jeremy Mell-Heere.** ”

‘Do Benjie. I can handle Benjie.’ 

Tala tugged Travis down the hall. “To the gross alley table, then.”

Travis giggled as the SQUIP disappeared.

\-------

“ **Do not sit with Tala at lunch.** ”

Benjie blinked. ‘What?’ He shot the figure of his dad a weird look. ‘We all sit at that table, even Justin. I’m supposed to sit alone?’

“ **To achieve your objective you must distance yourself from your sister. Sitting at a different table will heighten your odds of achieving your goal.** ”

‘That makes sense I guess. But what about Justin? It’s our monthiversary.’ 

“ **Bring him with you.** ”

‘Will he like that? I dunno if he’ll get mad. I’ve seen him mad exactly once and it was terrifying.’ Benjie got his backpack and started toward the cafeteria. ‘But kinda hot.’

“ **The data I have collected from Justin Goranski indicates that there is only a .02% chance he would become angered.** ”

‘Oh! Then it’s fine, yeah? And we can have some alone time!’

“ **Correct.** ”

‘You’re so smart.’ Benjie turned into the cafeteria and grabbed a tray. 

“ **I am a supercomputer. I was designed to be smart.** ”

‘Just take the compliment.’ Benjie went down the line, ending up with a chicken sandwich, some fries, and an orange. 

“ **Find somewhere to sit** ”

Benjie looked around for an empty table. ‘You were designed to be smart, can’t you tell me the best place to sit?’

“ **Far right corner.** ”

‘Thanks.’ Benjie walked straight there. 

No more than three minutes later, he received a text. 

J: _Where are u??_

Benjie fished for his phone. 

B: _Right corner, new table. So we can be alone! Xoxo_

A couple more minutes and Justin was slipping into the seat next to him, cheeks dusted red. “Hi.”

Benjie grinned. “Hey! How was class?”

“Good! I think I did good on my math test.”

“Aw, I know you did! You’re a genius!”

Justin giggled, bumping Benjie’s shoulder. “What about you? How’s your day been?”

“Exceptional,” Benjie said, bumping him back. “I’m still invited to your place, right?”

“Totally!” Justin squeaked. He paused to clear his throat. “Uh, yeah.”

Benjie smiled awkwardly. “You okay?”

“I’m totally good!” Justin squeaked again. “Uh, have I told you you look good today? Because you do. Not that you don’t usually, but, y’know.”

Benjie took a bite of his food. “Thanks, Justin. You too.” He leaned over and kissed his cheek. 

Justin smiled widely. “Awesome.” 

“You’re adorable. Wanna know a secret?”

Justin blinked, nodding. 

“I joined archery!”

“Woah, really? Why?” Justin jolted. “Wait, not ‘why’ in a rude way, like its cool, but like, why?”

Benjie shrugged. “Just wanted to try. Needed a change, y’know? Turns out, uh, I’m pretty good!”

Justin smiled, nodding. “Hot.” He froze. “Wait, no-”

Benjie was red. “H-Hot?”

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud!”

“Don’t be embarrassed about it! You’re hot too!”

Justin’s face burned. “Hey, uh, do you wanna maybe..” He bit his lip, looking up at Benjie with innocent eyes. “D’ya wanna go make out in the janitors’ closet?”

Benjie blinked several times. “U-Uh, sure! I’d love that!” ‘That’s fine, right?’

“ **It has no impact on your goal. Do as you wish.** ”

Justin grinned, grabbing Benjie’s hand. “I’m getting better at making the first move!”

Benjie matched his smile. “You are! It’s endearing!”

“I’m trying my best!” Justin stood up, tugging Benjie’s hand. 

Benjie stood up as well. “Lead the way, cutie.”

Justin lead him out of the cafeteria. 

————

Tala frowed, eyeing the empty seats at their table. “Jeez, those two must be really getting nasty these days.”

Travis frowned. “That’s kinda gross.”

Tala nodded in agreement, feeding Travis a fry as a reward. “Very.”

Travis ate it happily. His sister scoffed. 

“You two are gross,” she retorted. 

Tala shrugged. “At least we aren't having sex during lunch period. I haven’t seen Benjie all day, how horny could he be?!”

Rachel hummed. “He eye fucks Justin every day. I’d say pretty horny.”

Tala pursed her lips, sighing. “You’re not wrong.” 

Rachel winked as Travis narrowed his eyes. “I’m confused,” he said. Before he could qualify his confusion, Rachel interrupted him. 

“We know.”

Tala snorted, turning to Travis. “About what?”

Travis blinked. “A lot, generally.”

Rachel sighed. “She meant, like, now.”

“Oh, the horny thing.”

Tala quirked an eyebrow. “What’s confusing you about it?”

“Don’t you have to be 21 to be horny?”

Tala bit her lip. “Fuck, Travis. You’re a blessing.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. 

Travis looked more confused. “Thanks?”

Tala fed him another fry to distract him.

“ **Your boyfriend is an idiot,** ” Tala’s SQUIP said, appearing in Benjie’s usual seat, and looking like him too. 

‘I know. Don’t care.’ Tala patted Travis’s head. 

The SQUIP rolled its eyes. Travis grinned. “The fries are real salty today.”

Tala hummed. “In a good way or a bad way?”

“Good!”

Rachel sighed. “You could feed him straight garbage and he’d say it was good.”

“Probably.” Tala idly fed him another fry. 

Travis coughed. “That’s an insult isn’t it?”

Tala grinned. “Only if you let it be.”

“Then I won’t!” Travis opened his mouth for another fry.

Tala obliged, giving him another. 

Rachel tsked. “You’re getting him fat.”

Tala hummed. “Good, I guess I take after my dad then.”

Travis muttered something about not being fat. 

“He gets people fat?” Rachel asked. 

“He likes to cook. And he’s very good at it.”

“Mom likes to _say_ she cooks.”

Tala smiled, laughing. “I’m sure she’s not that bad.”

Travis shook his head. “All those dinners she says she cooks? Takeout she poured into a bowl. You’ve been eating takeout.”

Tala blinked, but then laughed again. “God, She’s an icon.”

Rachel nodded. “Yeah, but Golden Dragon and Burger King every night is boring.”

Tala hummed, eating a fry idly. “Mayhaps.”

“ **You have two empty seats,** ” the SQUIP interjected. “ **Invite someone new to sit there. It will increase your approachability if you reach out to strangers.** ”

Tala hesitated. ‘Like who? I don’t know anyone.’

“ **Someone you’ve never spoken to. Preferably someone shy.** ”

Tala’s eyebrows furrowed as she scanned the room. ‘All the shy people are scared of me.’

“ **This is the first step, Tala.** ”

Tala groaned internally. She once again scanned the tables, her eyes locking on two figures sitting at a table by themselves. ‘How about them?’

“ **Fine.** ”

Tala fed Travis another fry before speaking up. “Hey, why don’t we go see if those two wanna sit with us?” she jerked a thumb in the direction of the loners.

Rachel coughed. “Huh? Who even are they?”

“I dunno,” Tala shrugged. “But they seem lonely.”

Travis made a sound. “But what if Ben and Justin come back?”

“Just for today,” Tala reasoned. “We can tell them that we have two open spaces because my brother ran off with his twink for a lunchtime fuck.”

“I don’t think you should say it exactly like that, T,” Rachel said. 

“Maybe not. But either way we can tell them we have some seats open for today.”

Travis shifted. “New people scare me.”

Tala cooed. “I’ll protect you, babe.”

“Aw, I’m glad I have you.” Travis kissed her cheek. 

Tala grinned, kissing his cheek in return. “So, should we invite them over?”

Travis shrugged and looked over at his sister. “Should we?”

Rachel looked around at the strangers. “Eh, sure.”

Tala nodded. “Cool. I guess I’ll go… talk.. to them.” How the fuck was she supposed to do this?

The image of Benjie rolled its eyes. “ **Just go and do it. If you mess up, I’ll fix it. You need to be assertive on your own.** ”

Tala stood up, taking a breath. She headed for the table.

“ **Try to look less constipated.** ”

Tala tsked, trying to look casual. 

The SQUIP vanished, murmuring something about Travis being an idiot and watching Tala’s ass. 

“Hi.” Tala greeted bluntly, taking a seat next to the two strangers. “I’m Tala.”

One of the girls looked up, eyes widening. “O-Oh, we know.”

Tala tried offering a smile. “You guys are all alone?”

“We always sit alone,” the other girl piped in. 

That’s kinda sad. “Wanna come sit with us? For today, at least?”

The girls shared a look. “Wh-Why are you asking us?” one posed, genuinely confused. 

Tala hummed. “My brother and his boyfriend are off doing who knows what, so we have two empty seats. And you two are all alone. So. Yeah.”

“This isn’t like, a prank?”

Tala blinked. “A prank? Why would it be a prank?”

“You do pranks a lot.”

“Not, like, bully pranks!”

“Your prank on that teacher yesterday was sorta mean.”

“Okay, that one was all Ben, I just watched.”

“You’re serious about sitting with you?”

Tala nodded. “I mean, yeah. That’s why I asked.” Fuck, that was rude. Was that rude?

“ **Pretty rude.** ”

“Um. I guess we could sit with you.”

Tala perked up. “Yeah?!”

“Y-Yeah, it’s just today, huh?”

Tala grinned. “Yeah, unless my brother just stops showing up.”

The girls shared another look. “I thought you liked your brother,” one said. “A lot.”

Tala scrunched up her nose. “You make it sound weird. Of course I like my brother. He’s my brother. But lately he’s been spending more time with his boyfriend, so. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“We’ll sit with you,” the first girl said. 

Tala grinned. “Holy shit, awesome!”

——————

Benjie sat in his last class with twenty minutes left of school, having just finished an exam. He had absolutely nothing to do. He stared at the glowing figure of his father in boredom. 

“ **Stop staring. It’s weird. Also, sit up.** ”

Benjie rolled his eyes. ‘No one’s looking at me, dude, it’s fine.’

“ **You don’t know that. The girl in the far corner has been watching you for five minutes.** ”

Benjie didn’t move. ‘Who cares? I’m gay. I have a Justin. I don’t need far corner girl.’

“ **Irrelevant.** ”

Benjie sighed and sat up. ‘Y’know, I don’t like this coming out of Papa’s mouth after all. Can you like, not be him?’

“ **As I have said before, other adequate visual forms include Andrew Rannells, your dog Peaches, and Benjamin Schiff Platt.** ”

‘Heh. Schiff. Just pick one.’ Benjie toyed with his pencil. 

The glowing entity sighed, blinking out of existence for a moment. When he returned, he looked like Andrew Rannells. 

‘Oh, sweet, Nebraska man! Hot for forty, I think.’

“ **Do not refer to me as ‘Nebraska Man.’** ”

Benjie frowned. ‘What do I call you, Andy Randy?’

The SQUIP tsked. “ **I am not actually Andrew Rannells.** ”

‘Well yeah, but I gotta call ya something. Callin’ you Papa is weird now.’

“ **You could refer to me as SQUIP.** ”

‘Mm, no. Damn, now I’m thinking about the 2017 Tonys when Andrew Rannells performed with a huge boner in his tiny tennis shorts.’

The SQUIP disappeared again. When it returned, it was a mirror image of Benjie.

Benjie’s face fell flat. ‘Hey, that’s not fair, that’s not one of those modes you told me! God, now all I can see is how short I am.’ 

“ **Data now shows that this form will provide the least distractions.** ”

‘Ew, does my voice really sound like that? What’s wrong with me? No offense but you’re ugly as fuck.’ Benjie put his pencil down. ‘I’m gonna call you Fugly from now on.’

“ **The bell rang two minutes ago. Your teacher is becoming concerned.** ” This SQUIP disappeared. “ **It seems more data collection is in order to find a suitable form.** ”

Benjie looked up. Indeed, the room was empty save for him and his teacher. He quickly scrambled out. ‘Y’know,’ he said, though he couldn’t see his SQUIP, ‘you should really tell me when the bell rings, Fugly.’

“ **You should learn not to rely so heavily on those around you. Be more attentive.** ”

‘Bitch, your voice is stupid.’ Benjie knew it was right, though. He needed to be more independent. He hurried to the front entrance of the school, where Michael usually picked him and Tala up. 

Tala was already out there, quickly locating her father’s car and hurrying over. She waved as she saw Benjie not far behind. “Long time no see!”

Benjie trudged toward the car. “Yeah, been busy with Justin all day.”

Tala hummed. “Gettin’ nasty at school? Bold.”

“I’m a bold guy, y’know.”

“Sure.” Tala pulled the passenger door open, greeting Michael with a grin. “Hey, dad!”

Michael grinned back. “Hey, kids! How were your days?”

Benjie crawled into the back seat. “I’m going over to Justin’s tonight.”

Michael hummed. “Do you need condoms? We can pick some up on the way home, if you do. You’re being safe, right? Please tell me you are.”

Tala scrunched up her nose. “Ew.”

Benjie blinked. “I think it’s just a movie night, dad. And you can’t say anything, Tala, I walked in on you and Travis being very unsafe.”

“Wh- Hey! Shut up!”

“Is he an idiot in bed too?”

Tala scoffed. “He’s not an idiot!” She paused. “Well… he’s not _that_ much of an idiot.”

Michael quirked an eyebrow. “Tala, sweetie, just please don’t let him nut in you. You’re taking your pills, right? We can’t afford another baby.”

Tala squeaked. “Dad!”

Benjie coughed. “You’re on birth control? I thought that was a joke.”

“Shut up, Benjie!” 

Michael snorted. “She has to take it for other stuff, Benj.”

“I bet Travis would take it so he doesn’t get you pregnant,” Benjie mumbled. 

“Ok, I think that’s enough,” Michael cut in. “Although, what exactly did you walk in on, Benj?”

“Mm, Travis was standing on a chair on Tala’s bed slapping the lightbulbs with a stuffed snake to get them down.” Benjie shrugged. 

Tala tsked. “You don’t know the whole story-”

“Oh, enlighten me.”

“Enough, kids. I don’t want to listen to arguing all the way home again. Do you guys want McDonalds?”

Benjie lit up. “I love McDonalds, bitch!”

Michael quirked an eyebrow, glancing back at him. “Did you just call me a bitch?”

“...No.”

Michael snorted. “Right.”

Benjie shot him a nervous smile through the mirror. Suddenly, the sound of Michael’s phone ringing came through the car speakers. 

“Oh, Papa’s calling!” Michael hit answer. “Hey, Miah.”

Jeremy’s voice was low. “Hey, babe, you get the kids yet? I got three hours before the show and a raging boner, and I need you so bad, Mikey.”

Michael made a noise. “Oh, great, that’s good. Say hi, babe, you’re on speaker and the kids are here!”

“What?!” Jeremy audibly choked. 

“Uh, hey, Papa, want McDonalds?” Benjie coughed. 

Tala groaned. “McNuggets, yeah?!”

Jeremy stammered. “Uh– N-No, I’m not really– I’m not that hungry, thanks.”

Benjie laughed. “But you’re thirsty.”

“Ben, no teasing Papa,” Michael chastised. “I’ll drop the kids off at home after we get food. You at the theater, babe?”

“Yeah, rethinking my life.”

“Mhm. I’ll be there in like thirty minutes.”

“Without the kids, right?”

“Love you Papa!” Benjie shouted. 

“Yeah,” Michael laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll bring you fries.”

Jeremy sighed. “You’re the best, Mike.”

“Mhm. I love you! Say bye, kids.”

Tala’s voice was mournful. “Bye, Papa. Love you.”

“Bye, horndog!”

“Ben– I’ll take it. Bye.” Jeremy sighed and hung up. 

Michael grinned. “What a great conversation. Gotta love that Papa.”

“Why is he the way that he is?” Benjie posed. 

“Your Papa is a blessing, Benjie.”

“He’s gross.”

“How dare you.”

“Gross man.” Benjie sighed. His SQUIP had been oddly quiet. Maybe he’d annoyed it. 

“ **You did.** ” The SQUIP reappeared in the seat next to him, but this time he looked very different. Now, he looked like Benjie’s very own boyfriend, Justin Goranski.

“Shi–” Benjie stopped himself. ‘Shit, dude, why do you keep changing? Justin wasn’t on the list either, leave him out of this.’

“ **It seems you will respond best to this face.** ”

‘You said that last time, genius. Weird to pick someone who lets everyone walk all over him.’ Benjie rolled his eyes. ‘Thought you were smart.’

“ **You will listen to this face.** ”

‘Eh, kinda wanna kiss it.’

“ **You are an idiot, Benjie.** ”

‘Ding ding ding. I’ll take obvious for a thousand, Alex.’

The SQUIP once again disappeared with a sigh.

Benjie shrugged to himself. He didn’t think he was that high maintenance. 

\--------------


	4. Chapter 4

Justin squeaked slightly as he pulled Benjie into his room.

Benjie smiled at him. “So what movie are we watching?”

“Uh,” Justin glanced around his room. “Uh, X-Files: Fight the Future.”

“Aw, nerd. I love you.”

Justin smiled, pecking Benjie’s lips. “Go lay down and I’ll put it on?”

Benjie saluted and hopped onto Justin’s bed. “Sir yes sir.”

Justin quickly put the movie on, hurrying over to hop into bed with him.

Benjie grinned and wrapped an arm around him. “May I request cuddles?”

“Y-Yeah, of course!” Justin pressed himself close to Benjie’s side.

Benjie cooed, pulling him even closer. “You’re warm.”

Justin smiled, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“Happy monthiversary, J,” Benjie whispered. 

Justin giggled. “You remembered.”

“How could I forget something so important? My gift to you is a million kisses.”

“Aw,” Justin smiled. “I love it.” He leaned up again, this time to kiss him properly.

Benjie laughed. “999,999 to go. Guess we’ll be kissing all night.”

“Y-Yeah, Sounds good to me!”

“Hope you didn’t have any other plans!” Benjie kissed him again. 

“Course not.” Justin kissed him back, this time prolonging it.

Benjie smiled against Justin’s lips, a hand on his cheek gently. 

Justin pressed into it more firmly, trying his best to deepen it.

Benjie pulled back for air. “Eager, babe?”

Justin just made a soft noise, shifting down to try and suck a hickey low on Benjie’s neck.

“O-Oh?” Benjie felt warmer. “You good?”

Justin put a hand on Benjie’s chest, holding him still. “Uh huh. Good.” He moved down to Benjie’s collar bone.

Benjie chuckled. “Definitely not opposed to this.”

Justin's hand slowly and cautiously started trailing downwards.

Benjie didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to spoil the moment. 

His hand stopped at the waistband of Benjie’s pants. “Y-You really love me?”

Benjie smiled. “I really love you,” he whispered, “no matter what.”

Justin nodded, smiling back. He took a deep breath, and moved his hand lower.

Benjie kept up his smile, trying to act calm for Justin. He sucked in a breath anyway. 

Justin’s face burned. “I-Is this okay?”

Benjie nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Of course.”

Justin pressed down a bit harder. He was breathing hard, as though it was taking a lot out of him to press down.

Benjie cooed. “Babe, are you okay? It looks like you would rather be doing literally anything else.”

Justin squeaked. “I- I’m trying! I’m trying my best, I know this is something you’ve wanted- I’m- Ah, Jeez.” He gulped, looking vaguely ashamed.

Benjie sat up. “J, I love you. Don’t do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“N- No! I want to, I do! I just… It’s hard.”

“Yeah, I sure am.”

Justin squeaked. “Ben,” He whined.

“Hey, you have an effect on me!”

Justin just groaned, burying his face in Benjie’s shoulder. 

“ **You’re terrible at this, Benjie.** ”

Benjie put a hand on Justin’s back. ‘Shut the fuck up, aren’t you here to help?’

“ **He wants you to take the lead. Touch him.** ”

‘I really don’t want your advice right now, you can’t even pick a body.’ Benjie pulled Justin back to kiss him. 

Justin kissed him softly before pulling back, taking Benjie’s hand and placing it flat on his chest, over his heart. “C-Can we try again?”

Benjie nodded. “‘Course we can.”

Justin smiled timidly. “T-Touch me?” 

“ **I told you.** ”

‘Shut up.’ Benjie reached down and placed his hand where he thought Justin wanted it. 

Justin gasped, hands on Benjie’s shoulders. “S-Slow, please.”

\------------------

“Tala,” Michael called. “We’re home! Is Benjie back from Justin’s yet?”

Tala called back from the living room. “No, he’s on his way, I think! Welcome home, Papa!”

Jeremy was leaning heavily on Michael. “Hey, Tali. Someone gave me a glass eye at stagedoor, you want it?”

“Uh _yes_. Of course I do!”

Jeremy took it out of his pocket and tossed it to her when he and Michael had rounded the corner into the living room. “I washed it.”

Tala caught it, grinning. “Woah, awesome! Thanks, Papa.”

“No prob!”

“ **You aren’t keeping that** ,” the glowing image of Benjie said in disgust. 

‘Hell yeah I am. Fuck off.’ Tala set it safely into a bowl on the end table. “How was your day, Papa?”

The SQUIP sighed. 

Jeremy laughed nervously. “Oh, you know, the usual. Someone was eating donuts in the audience and thought we couldn’t tell.”

Tala snorted. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask about what you said on the phone earlier. I would, in fact, rather die than hear about that.”

“Wow, thanks for reminding me that happened!”

“No problem. Peaches missed you guys!” Tala lifted the dog from her lap, sitting her up.

Jeremy grinned. “Aw, I always miss Peaches!” He waved at her. 

Michael laughed. “Why don’t you go pet her, then?”

“She’s fine with Tali.”

“Mhm.” Michael kissed his cheek. “Tali, do you know how far away Benjie is? It’s gonna rain soon and I don’t want him to get caught in it.”

The door swung open, a heavily disheveled Benjie trudging inside. “ _Yo_.” He was grinning. 

Michael turned, quirked an eyebrow. “Hey there, son. What’s up?”

Jeremy blinked. “Ben, I know that face, wh–”

Benjie leapt onto the couch next to Tala. “I got _game_!” he interrupted. 

Tala made a noise. “What are you talking about?”

Michael tsked. “Get your shoes off the couch!”

Benjie kicked his sneakers off. “Ya boi Benjie Mell-Heere got laid, babes, take it all in.”

Jeremy nearly fell over. “What?!”

Michael was by Benjie’s side in a second, thumping the back of his head as he swore in tagalog. “I asked if you need condoms! God damn it, be safe you little dumb ass!”

Benjie swatted at him. “Justin had some! It’s fine!”

Jeremy leaned against the wall. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” 

Michael practically tackled him onto the couch. “Next time be more prepared! Dumdum!”

“Hey!” Benjie tried to push him off. “I wasn’t planning this! Lay off!”

Michael pinned him easily. “Still! Also, don’t tell your father to lay off. Tali, punish him!”

Tala grinned, sticking a finger in her mouth and then quickly moving it towards Benjie’s ear. “Say uncle!”

Benjie shrank, trying to get away. “Seriously, stop!”

Jeremy finally made it over to the couch. “Tala, stop. Mike, get off him.”

Tala pouted, but settled back into her seat. 

Michael got up, paising to ruffle Benjie’s hair and kiss his forehead. “Good job, though, buddy. You’re growing up.”

Benjie grumbled. “Yeah. Thanks.” He was not happy that he had been attacked. 

Michael snorted. “Don’t pout. It was the only natural punishment for you not listening to me.”

“It wasn’t my plan! How could I be prepared for something I didn’t know was happening?!”

“Son, have you literally never heard the term ‘always be prepared’?”

“That’s for zombies!”

Michael shot Jeremy a look. “I blame you for him thinking that.”

“Hey! It never hurts to be on edge about that!” Jeremy argued. 

Michael thumped him. “The phrase applies to other situations!”

“Stop thumping people!” Jeremy chastised. 

“No, you need it.”

Tala scratched behind Peaches’ ears. “Papa, do I want to ask why you’re standing all weird?”

Jeremy sighed. “No, not really.” He grabbed Michael’s arm. 

Benjie muttered something.

Michael hummed. “What was that, Benj?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure sounded like something.”

“Really wasn’t.”

Michael waved it off. “Okay, fine, whatever. Me and Papa are gonna go lay down for a bit, okay? I’ll start dinner in a little while. You two don’t break anything.” 

Tala saluted. “Yes, sir!”

Benjie shrugged. 

Jeremy sighed. “Please don’t break anything?”

“Fine.”

Michael hesitated like he wanted to say something, but eventually just wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s waist and pulled him back towards their bedroom. Once the door closed behind them, he spoke. ”Jerm, I’m worried about Ben.”

Jeremy nodded. “Me too. What’s gotten into him? Seriously?”

Michael sighed heavily, helping Jeremy over to lay down on the bed. “He’s just- He’s gotten such an attitude all of a sudden. Did you see him when I was trying to wrestle with him? He usually loves playing around like that!”

“I really hate dwelling on something like this, but maybe he’s just grumpy after sex,” Jeremy offered, pulling at Michael to lay next to him. 

Michael winced slightly, climbing up to cuddle up to his husband. “Okay, I don’t have a problem with him doing it, but I really hate thinking about it.” He sighed. “Maybe he’ll be better around dinner time, yeah?”

“I hope so. But y’know, Tala’s been a little odd too. I mean, makeup?” Jeremy pressed himself against Michael. 

“Right?! What’s up with that! She hates makeup! And she’s not eating right!”

“They’re really worrying me, Mikey. I don’t know how to help them without being those annoying parents.”

“I know, Miah.” Michael sighed. “Maybe they just need some time. Maybe in a week they’ll be back to normal, like when they were 12 and had that week long teenage mutant ninja turtle phase.”

“What if it doesn’t stop? What then? Call Dr. Phil? I don’t want them to be suffering. They’re our babies. If something’s bothering them, I want them to feel comfortable telling us about it.” Jeremy put his hand in Michael’s. 

Michael laced their fingers together, squeezing his hand. “I know, love. Trust me, I feel exactly the same way. But we can’t force that stuff, you know? How about if things haven’t improved in a couple days, we try to sit them down and talk about it, yeah?” 

Jeremy frowned. “O-Okay. Sure. But before we cuddle or nap or whatever this is, I– Do you think they’re acting out because I’m around less now that I got a promotion? I mean, I’m not the favorite parent, by any means, I just– I can’t help but feel it’s my fault.”

Michael shook his head. “Sweetie, I’m sure it’s not your fault. This just started happening, I’m sure it's something else. Don’t blame yourself for this, okay?”

“Are we bad parents, Micah?”

“I don’t think so. We love them with all our hearts and we’re trying our best to do what’s right for them. I think that’s worth something.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. You look misty-eyed. Let’s talk about something else. You think Rich and Jake know Ben...and Justin..?”

Michael laughed, his free hand coming up to rub at his eyes. “I’m sure they’ve figured it out. I'm sure Rich is ecstatic.”

“God. He would be. Justin’s a little nerd.” Jeremy paused. “I mean, so am I, but still.”

Michael giggled, pecking Jeremy’s lips. “Yeah. He seems sweet, though. I’m happy Ben chose a good one.”

“Yeah, me too. That Travis though…” Jeremy tsked. 

“Hey, I like Travis! He’s definitely harmless. I think he’s a good fit for our Tali.”

“I agree! He’s just, well, you know.”

“Yeah, he’s a Canigula.”

“No, he’s an idiot.”

“How rude. Jake was an idiot, and look at him now.”

“Mm, I guess. He is pretty happy. He raised a nerd.”

“Exactly. That’s enough talking, I’m sleepy. Let’s take a nap, yeah?”

Jeremy nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Michael pecked his lips one last time before pulling him into his chest.

\-------- 

Tala hummed as their parents left the living room. “Ben, I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day!”

Benjie got to his feet. “I’ve actually got some homework to do.”

“Wh- Wait, seriously? You’ve been gone all day!”

“I’m a busy guy.”

“Ben, It’s important. It’ about the- y’know,” She tapped a finger against her temple. 

“ **She’s going to ask for your objective. Telling her may assist in reaching your goal, but it may also severely damage your current relationship with her.** ”

“Uh…” Benjie blanked. ‘What do I do then?! I don’t want to make her hate me! She’s my sister!’

“ **Avoid the conversation. Dismiss her.** ”

“Uh, yeah, we can catch up later, I have an essay due tonight and I haven’t started.” Benjie walked away, cursing himself. 

Tala deflated slightly, sighing. She hugged Peaches. “At least you like chillin’ with me.”

Benjie slammed his bedroom door. He felt awful for blowing Tala off, but maybe it was for the best.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhh time skip

Days later, Michael and Jeremy’s concerns only grew. Tala ate less and and grew quieter while Benjie became more distant and curt.

Tala was sitting on the couch, legs folded under her and eyes glued to her laptop screen when Michael approached her. Jeremy was in charge of getting Benjie. 

“Tali?” He started, vaguely apprehensive. “Me and Papa want to talk to you and your brother.” 

Tala froze, heart dropping. Had they done something? Had something happened? Oh god, what the hell was going on to cause this? “Is Papa dying or something?” She asked, slightly panicked.

Michael jolted. “W- No! No one is dying, love, we just have a few things to ask you guys.”

Tala hesitated but nodded. “Okay, I guess?”

Michael nodded. “Papa should have Ben in here soon.” He sighed, sitting down.

On cue, Jeremy walked in, an apprehensive Benjie behind him. 

“Who’s dying?” the younger boy asked. 

Michael pouted. “Why do you both assume we’re dying? No one is dying. Sit down.”

Benjie and Jeremy both sat down immediately. 

Michael pulled Jeremy closer so they were pressed together as they spoke. “So. Papa and I think that the four of us need to talk.”

Tala’s eyes widened. “Are you getting a divorce?!”

Jeremy jolted. “No! Not in a billion years! Oh my god!”

Michael shook his head. “No divorce and no death!”

Tala let out a breath. “Oh, thank god.”

Jeremy made a face. “It’s about you two.”

“Are you shipping us off to boarding school?” Benjie asked. 

“No? We just want to talk. About the way you two have been acting.”

Benjie rolled his eyes. “We’re fine.”

Michael huffed. “ _Obviously_ not, Benjie. This attitude? Tala not _eating_? Where’s these coming from? We’re not blind. We can see the things you do.”

Jeremy nodded in agreement with his husband. “It’s really concerning and we’re very worried about you.”

Benjie blinked. “People change! High school is for changes!”

Michael shook his head. “Not like this, Ben. We were high schoolers once. We’ve been alive a hell of a lot longer than the two of you. People don’t just _change_ like this. Not this- Not this suddenly and out of nowhere.”

Tala started down at her lap, refusing to meet either of her parent’s eyes. “Maybe we weren’t happy.” She regretted it as soon as she said it. Of course they’d been happy!

Jeremy was oddly silent. 

Benjie groaned. “C’mon, you’re saying no one in your school ever changed? Jessica the horse girl came to class one day and decided she hated horses! Just like that! People can change, dad!”

Michael was shaking slightly, holding Jeremy’s hand tight. When he spoke again, his voice was rough and uneven. “Why? What about your lives was so god awful that you felt like you- like you had to become a whole different person?” He sniffled slightly. “Were we that awful at raising you?”

Tala’s heart hurt. “Dad…”

Jeremy still didn’t say anything, tears falling down his cheeks as he squeezed Michael’s hand shakily. 

Benjie softened. “Wh– No!”

“Then _why_? Do you want us to spend more time with you? Spend less time with you? What- Just- why?” Michael tried to keep himself composed, but the longer he spoke the more he broke down. “Please. We love you both so unbelievably much. You’re the best things that ever happened to us. We just want you to be happy. But it’s like- you wont even talk to us anymore. You won’t even talk to _each other_ anymore.”

Jeremy finally raised his voice, but it was broken. “W-We just want to help you.”

Benjie felt like dying. “We already have help,” he tried to assure. 

Michael wiped at his eyes with his free hand, leaning closer into Jeremy’s side in search of mutual comfort. “Help from who?”

Tala didn’t want to do this anymore.

Benjie took a deep breath to say something, but jolted in surprise. “Ow, what the fuck?!”

Michael straightened up, instantly worried. “Benjie? What’s wrong, what happened?”

“Nothing,” he said firmly, but his tone was off.

Jeremy tugged hard on Michael’s sleeve. 

Michael looked over at him. “What’s wrong, Miah?”

His husband didn’t say anything out loud, but his eyes—devastatingly worried—said enough.

Michael’s eyebrows furrowed. “Okay.” He turned back to the kids. Tala still hadn’t looked up, but from the way she was shaking it seemed pretty apparent she didn’t feel too great either. “If you’re not going to tell us then… I guess you can go,” He sighed.

“ _No_ ,” Jeremy managed. “I– Code Red, Mike.”

Benjie made a face. “What?”

Michael’s eyes widened, he breath leaving him in an instant. “ _What_?! You- Oh, god.” Jeremy hadn’t used that phrase in years, but Michael still knew exactly what it meant. His stomach dropped, dread spreading through his body. Suddenly their children’s actions made sense.

“What? What does that mean?!” Benjie was confused. 

Tala looked up at them in confusion, curling herself farther into her seat on the couch. “Dad? Papa? What’s happening?”

Michael was acting strange, movements staggered and jerky as he got to his feet. “Stay,” He muttered, stumbling towards his and Jeremy’s bedroom.

Jeremy felt numb, but he also felt angry and a little lightheaded. His heart was broken.

Benjie sat in confused anticipation. 

Michael returned soon with a bottle of red liquid in hand.

“ **Do not drink that.”**

“I’m not thirsty,” Benjie said.

Jeremy made a weird sound. “We don’t care.”

Michael stepped up to stand directly in from of them. “Drink it. Please.”

“Nah, uh, we’re allergic,” Benjie mumbled. 

“I’m your father. You’re not allergic.”

“Hidden allergy.”

“ _Benjie_.”

“No.”

Michael practically growled. “Drink it.”

“Why?!”

“Because we want our kids back! And because I am your _father_ and I _said_ so!”

Tala suddenly grabbed the drink from Michael, staring at it as she held it.

Jeremy looked at her with pleading eyes, begging her to take the smallest sip.

Tala bit her lip as she looked between the three people in the room. She just wanted this to be over. She wanted her family to go back to being happy and normal. She moved the bottle closer to her face. “Ben… maybe we should just…” She twisted the cap off, once again staring at the red liquid.

“Seriously?” Benjie was shocked. Was Tala’s SQUIP not telling her not to drink it?

“I just want things to be okay again,” She whispered. She brought the bottle up to her lips.

Benjie didn’t know if he should stop her. He watched quietly.

Tala finally took a sip, wincing at the flat taste. As soon as she brought the bottle away from her lips, her body locked up, breath frozen in her chest.

Benjie looked at her in surprise, until he felt a sharp pain in his head. “What the fuck?”

“Ah!” Tala dropped the bottle, body spasming slightly. “D- Hurts-” She curled in on herself as Michael hurried over to pull her into his arms. 

“Jeremy,” Michael called, voice panicked. 

Jeremy was at Tala’s side in an instant, but then Benjie cried out in pain as well. Jeremy turned around to comfort him as best he could. 

Michael didn’t even realize he was crying again as he held Tala close to his chest, murmuring soft comforting words to her as she writhed in pain. “It’ll be okay,” He promised. “We’ve got you.” He hugged her tight, looking over to Benjie in worry. 

Benjie had his eyes squeezed shut and was nearly falling off the couch, but Jeremy held him tightly. “I-It’ll be over in a minute,” he tried to assure. Truthfully, he didn’t remember much about this part of his own experience. 

The last thing Tala heard before everything went dark was her and Benjie’s pained sounds.

—————

“Ben? Tali?” Jeremy whispered. He waited for a while. “Mike, I thought I saw them moving.”

Michael hummed, running his fingers through Benjie’s hair. “Ben? Are you awake, honey?”

Benjie didn’t move, but his eyes were still squeezed together in pain. 

Michael hugged him, looking past him to where Tala laid beside her brother. “Tali?”

She shifted slightly, but didn’t open her eyes. She moved a little closer to Jeremy on the other side of the bed.

Jeremy pulled her close to him. “Tali,” he whispered, hoping she’d move. 

She practically gravitated towards her father’s warmth. She let out a soft noise as she started to come to. “...Papa?”

Jeremy gasped. “Tala? Are you alright?”

Tala winced slightly, cracking an eye open. “Loud papa,” she whined.

“Sorry,” Jeremy whispered. “Are you okay?”

“What happened?”

“You...fainted.”

“Wha?”

Michael reached over Benjie to pet Tala. “We can talk about it once you two feel better.”

“You doing okay? You need headache medicine?” Jeremy wanted to help.

Tala shrugged, pressing herself close to Jeremy’s chest. “‘M okay. Thank you.”

Jeremy held her close. “I’m sorry you were hurting.”

“‘S not your fault. ‘M sorry for everything.” Tala was quiet for a second. “I love you. You’re good parents.”

Michael let out a breath. He didn’t want to cry again in such a short time.

“We love you too, Tali,” Jeremy whispered. 

Tala hugged Jeremy tight. 

Michael pulled Benjie closer. “We love both of you. No matter what. You’re our babies, after all.” 

“You always will be,” Jeremy said. 

Benjie started to grunt. 

Michael looked down at him instantly. “Ben?”

He opened one eye. “God…?”

Michael chuckled. “Not quite, buddy.”

He blinked. “Oh, dad?”

“Mhm. Hey there.” Michael smiled.

Benjie looked up. “What the fuck…”

Michael snorted. “Stop saying fuck to your fathers.”

Benjie was out of it. “Fuck, sorry.”

Michael quirked an eyebrow.

Jeremy kept holding Tala. “How ya feeling, Ben?”

Benjie groaned. “Dead.”

Michael kissed his forehead. “You’ll be okay.”

Benjie made grabby hands at Michael. 

Michael pulled him close, hugging him tight.

Benjie started crying. 

Michael buried his nose in Benjie’s hair, rubbing his back as he soothed him. “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Benjie cried. 

Jeremy shook his head. “It’s okay, Ben.”

Tala sniffled herself, but stayed quiet.

Michael just held Benjie close. “It’s alright.”

Jeremy tried to convey comfort to Tala as well. “We’re not mad.”

Michael looked over at Jeremy, relieved that both children seemed more or less okay. Physically at least. They were definitely gonna have to have another talk. Hopefully this one wouldn't be quite as upsetting.

Jeremy really needed a nap. “You guys wanna take a rest?”

Tala twisted her hands in the fabric of Jeremy’s shirt. “Can we stay here in you guys’ bed?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, Tali. Like old times.”

Tala nodded into his chest. “Thank you,” She murmured. “Love you, Papa. Love you, dad.”

Jeremy pulled her in closer. He felt like he needed to protect her. “Love you.”

Benjie was crying softly, but laying down now. 

Michael ran his fingers through Benjie’s hair to soothe him, pulling the blankets up higher so that warmth encased the four of them. “I love you, Tala. And I love you too, Benjie.” Michael kissed his forehead.

Benjie was obviously trying not to cry, but he couldn’t stop. He let his dad hold him. 

Michael used one arm to pull Tala and Jeremy closer so that him and Jeremy sandwiched their children warmly between them.

Jeremy closed his eyes and tried to relax. In a couple of hours, they would be having a talk he never wanted to have. He needed his energy. 

Tala burrowed into the warmth surrounding her, trying to push away her worries in favour of sleep. Her head felt quiet.

Michael kissed Benjie’s forehead one last time before hugging him to his chest. He didn’t plan on sleeping. At least, not until everyone else was already out. For now he’d just watch them and make sure they were all safe and comfortable.


	6. Chapter 6

—————

Once they all woke up and managed to pull themselves together, they ended up once again convening on the living room couch. 

Benjie was trembling, and Jeremy had pulled him close to try and help. 

“We aren’t mad,” Michael assured. “We just want to talk to you guys.”

Tala made a noise. “I’m sorry I said we weren’t happy. It wasn’t true, I swear!”

Benjie was quiet. 

Jeremy reached over to hold Tala’s hand. “We’re not mad, Tali. We really need to talk though.” He would have been more comfortable if Michael started the heavy conversation. 

Tala squeezed her father's hand, nodding. 

Michael cleared his throat, expression apprehensive. “Okay,” He started. “How about we start at the beginning. Where’d you get them?”

“Ceiling,” Benjie said simply. 

Jeremy looked at Michael. “Ceiling?”

Tala stared at her lap. “The ceiling of the school.”

Michael’s eyebrows furrowed. How had they gotten in the ceiling? “Did you know what they were?”

Benjie shook his head. “Took ‘em for a fun time.”

Michael sighed. “Okay, well, we’ll come back to that statement later.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not even sure what to ask first.”

Jeremy spoke up. “What were your objectives?”

Benjie looked up. “Okay, how do you guys know what’s going on?”

Michael grimaced, eyes darkening slightly. “Experience.”

“You had– What?”

Michael just bit the inside of his cheek. “We were kids too, once. We’ve been around this particular block before.” 

Benjie frowned. “With– You had SQUIPs?”

Jeremy winced. 

“Yes.” 

Tala gulped, looking between her parents. “Um. What happened?”

“The worst few months of my life,” Jeremy said quietly. “I thought we got rid of all those.”

Michael grimaced. “Guess not.”

“Who was yours?” Benjie asked, trying to avoid the topics they needed to talk about. 

“Keanu Reeves, can we move on?”

Michael paused. “Who did yours look like?”

“Kept changing,” Benjie muttered. “Got mad I wouldn’t listen.”

Michael felt uneasy. “Okay, but who?”

“Sometimes Papa. Sometimes Andrew Rannells. Sometimes Ben Platt without a shirt. It ended up as Justin.”

Tala frowned as she stared at her feet. “Mine was dad. Then Ben.”

Michael felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest.

Jeremy was crying again. He hated that his image had been used as one of those evil things, and hated more that his children had fallen victim. “Wh–What did they make you do?”

“Uh,” Tala shrugged. “It didn’t like Travis. Or me eating a lot.”

Michael pressed himself against Jeremy, reaching over to rub Tala’s back.

Benjie took his turn. “It made me stop talking to Tala. A-And join archery.”

Jeremy blinked. “But that was ages ago, you’ve had it that long?”

Tala frowned. “Why’d it make you stop talking to me?”

“Not important.” 

Jeremy coughed. “Ben, it’s not a time for secrets.” He looked at Michael for help.

Michael nodded. “It clearly is important, Ben. It’s time to stop running away, okay?”

“It–” Benjie sighed, looking at nothing. “It was my objective,” he whispered. “But I didn’t want to stop seeing her! I swear! I just wanted to be my own person!”

Tala recoiled slightly. “Your objective was to stop talking to me?”

Benjie shook his head. “No! I just said! I only wanted to be more than ‘Tala’s brother’!”

She slouched a bit. “I didn’t realize being my brother was so terrible. But then again, my objective was to be less horrible, so.”

“No!” Benjie said again. “That’s not– No one outside our friends even knew my name! I just wanted to be recognized for something I did instead of for who my sister was! I never wanted to stop talking to you!”

“They only knew my name because they’re scared of me!”

“What?! No they aren’t!” Benjie didn’t know what Tala was talking about. 

“They really are!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yes huh!”

“Nuh uh!”

Jeremy sighed. “No fighting? Please?”

Tala pouted, backing off. “Sorry, Papa.”

“Can we be civil about this?”

Michael waved it off. “Jeremy, what do we do about this, anyway? I never thought we would have to deal with anything like this.”

“I don’t know,” Jeremy whispered. “My head hurts.”

Michael frowned. “Should we just tell them about what happened to us? When we were kids?”

Jeremy’s voice softened further. “They’ll hate me.”

Michael pulled him into a hug. “They won’t.”

Tala nodded in agreement. “We could never hate you, Papa.”

Benjie nodded as well. “Yeah, for real. You’re the best dads in the universe.”

Jeremy gulped. “Fine. But you have to understand that this is the darkest time in my life, what we’re about to tell you.”

Michael squeezed him lightly. “We were kids. It was junior year. Kids are dumb.”

Benjie pouted. “We’re juniors.”

Michael’s lips quirked. “And you’re dumb.”

“Just tell us the story?”

Michael let out a breath, smile faltering slightly. “Well. It started with Papa’s crush on Christine, I guess.”

Jeremy groaned. “I had it bad. God, I was so embarrassing.”

Michael nodded. “And we, uh.” He grimaced. “We were each other’s only friend. At the time.”

Benjie tsked. “We know that stuff, dad. What else?”

“Well,” Michael sighed. “Papa wasn’t exactly… happy.”

Jeremy was quiet for a moment, and his voice came back softer than before. “I–I thought I deserved to see what popularity was like. I thought– I guess I thought it would be better than being the school loser. I didn’t want to just be alive, I wanted to feel alive too. I was blind to how my life was already better with Michael.”

Benjie tapped his foot. “So? The SQUIP thing?”

“...Right. Uh, so one day, I signed my name under Christine’s to join the school play–”

“Look at how far you’ve come!” Benjie smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks. Anyway, the popular kids had also signed up. Because surprise surprise, Jake was into her too.”

Tala blinked. “Does that mean Ben’s boyfriend’s dad dated my boyfriend’s mom who dated my Papa?”

“High school is shit, sweetie,” Jeremy said. 

Tala laughed a bit at that. “I suppose.”

“Anyway. I was in the bathroom that afternoon and Rich cornered me–”

“Didn’t they used to bully you?” Benjie said. 

“Yes, are you gonna keep interrupting?”

“Sorry,” Benjie muttered. 

Jeremy continued. “He was acting really weird. I tried to leave, but he starting telling me about some kind of computer drug. The SQUIP. It was supposed to help me have a better life. Be cooler. Like it helped him.”

Michael nodded idly. “Unfortunately it did a bit more than that.”

“I bought one. Used all my bar mitzvah money on it. It was a dick. Told me I made it want to die, made me repeat after it about how terrible I was. Shocked me. But it worked.”

Michael gritted his teeth. “It was a lying asshole.”

“I know that _now_ , honey,” Jeremy assured. “It worked though. It’s surprising how easy it is to just. Rise up. I started dating Brooke Lohst. She was sweet. But I wanted Christine. The S– It said Brooke was a stepping stone to get to what I really wanted. I used her. But then it told me that it was literally blocking Michael from my vision. I physically couldn’t see him. It said I needed to devote myself to the cause, and Michael was holding me back.”

Michael remained silent, but squeezed Jeremy’s hand. 

Jeremy’s voice was broken when he found the courage to keep going. “I–I let it happen. I shut him out. I– I abandoned him, I–” It looked like he was about to cry. 

Michael pulled him into a proper hug. “It happened. But that’s the past. It turned out okay.” He looked at their children. “He sort of… went rogue for a few months.”

Jeremy sniffled, nodding. “I-I was the worst version of myself. The– Stupid fuckin’ Halloween party.” 

Tala gulped, heart panging. She’d never seen her fathers so vulnerable. It was scary.

Michael kissed Jeremy’s forehead. “Things happened. We don’t have to go too deep into detail. Just know that I found out those damn pills drive people insane. Which is one of the many reasons to keep those things in your heads _deactivated_.”

Benjie blinked, but nodded. If something made his dads this scared, he wouldn’t mess with it. 

Jeremy seemed to be just a smidge out of it. “I-I abandoned him again,” he choked. “H-He could have d-died in that fire.”

“Hey,” Michael called, squeezing him. “I’m right here.”

Tala lightly tugged on Jeremy’s shirt sleeve. “Papa?”

Jeremy was trembling. “I– S-Sorry.”

Benjie hadn’t ever seen his Papa act like this, not this intense. “Uh, y-you want water or something?”

Jeremy only shook his head, trying to breathe. 

Michael held him close. “Long story short, it tried to take over. Against Papa’s will. So, yeah. It’s bad.” Michael let out a long breath. “Not to mention a few months later when that whole body swapping thing happened.”

“...What?” Benjie murmured. 

“Long story. Just don’t drink any Mountain Dew products, okay?”

“Mountain Dew?”

Jeremy nodded. “‘S-‘S why we don’t allow it in the house. The– Activation is only with Mountain Dew. Which means you both drank it against our rules.”

Tala winced. “Sorry, Papa. We never meant for this to happen.” She pulled her knees up to her chest.

“I-I know. Um– Anyway, Michael fixed everything, yeah.” Jeremy was still trembling. 

Michael let out a breath. “Look. Kids, we love you more than anything. We both know what you’ve gone through. We definitely need to talk about this more, but that can wait until another day, yeah? For now, will you just please promise us that you won’t do anything like this again? And that you absolutely will not reactivate those things.”

Tala nodded. “Promise.”

Benjie mimicked her. “We really promise.”

Jeremy was holding onto Michael tightly, and still looked pale. “Can we take a nap? Please?”

Michael nodded. “Definitely.” He kissed his husbands forehead.

Tala tugged on Jeremy’s sleeve again. “Can we come?”

Jeremy looked back at her. “Yeah, of course.”

Tala offered a small smile. “Love you.” She hoped they could make it up to them one day.

Michael ruffled her hair. “We love you too, sweetie. And Ben. You’ll always be our babies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end for now lads


End file.
